by David Ward
Surrender!… here is another episode of The Tiny Little Happiness Corner
Surrender, in my humble opinion, is one of the most underestimated and misplaced words in the English language. As you opened this month’s piece on happiness did you sense failure, rejection, being second-rated, being subjected to something or someone unwanted and so forth? That is because surrender is perceived as being negative, carrying with it sadness, dejection and many other feelings that aim to defeat happiness. Often, people picture themselves raising the white flag in sign of defeat.
Indeed, surrender is most often attributed to defeat and yet, if correctly understood and embraced is exactly the opposite!
Remember the episode on forgiveness when you discovered that the prisoner is you? well, that is precisely why we need to reboot our dictionary to see the true meaning and outcome of the word surrender. True surrender may I add.
Let me explain with an example or two.
When I met my wife many years ago, I knew nothing about her, her family or circumstances. Moreover, questions such as education, societal status, race, where she lived and many other things didn’t come to mind. All I saw was a person, really. The same for her family and friends.
Of course, I saw an attractive girl, well-mannered and perceived a sincere and open-minded girl but the point was I did not value her for her background. In other words, I trusted not only my judgement but also the person who was in front of me. In other words, I ‘surrendered’ and trusted her 100%. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that she was a person I could trust. It has been like this ever since.
You may call this instinct or whatever you like, but the fact is I accepted what I was feeling as fact, not fiction.
The human brain and mind are capable of processing some many cues, ranging from smell to colour, all simultaneously that we often forget and neglect this incredible human capability. In Malcom Gladwell’s book ‘The Tipping Point’ he addresses this with startling insight and explains why we, as human beings, are able to detect fake artworks from real ones, all of this based on our perceptions. We have an inmate capability to make snap decisions on apparently conflicting information. In is how talent scouts spot champions at a very early stage.
In a nutshell we trust our judgement, even though it may appear irrational, and moreover, wrong.
This element of trust is closely tied to surrender, our being and openess. That is why when we look at the night sky we are at awe at the immenseness of the universe. We have no idea of what it includes but we trust what we see as the truth.
When we see someone with their arms and hands clenched, we perceive ‘closure’ while someone with their arms open and hands spread out as wide as possible, we perceive acceptance, willingness to meet and an invitation to ‘join’. We are also more receptive to our destiny and what life and the universe is offering, happiness included.
So, when we trust people, we ‘surrender’ ourselves making our lives much simpler and more straight forward. We know that when we do not trust it makes our lives most costly, time consuming and creates a heavy mind.
Now I’m not advocating for reckless disclosure rather what I’m saying is that in the key moments of our lives, when we have trusted, we know things have gone better. Happiness will not come to you if you are distrust worthy and that person and/or circumstance will only arrive when you surrender, entirely.
Irrespective whether or not you are religious or spiritual (or neither for that matter), surrendering is a pre-requisite to happiness. You simply have to trust and surrender.
Learn to trust your human capabilities, learn to surrender and trust as these will certainly guarantee an improvement in your lives. If might well fix many of the issues you have or at least clarify their origins and direct you appropriately, but you have to surrender first.
So, on a closing note, this month, Joyful June, has several opportunities for us to trust and surrender. Moreover, look back at the moments when you did surrender and contemplate on the wonderful things you received.
Have a happy June and surrender to the wonderful things ahead.
As always thanks for reading as far as here.